You & Me (You & Me Series Book 1) Read online

  “Cami, I can’t be with him. He would hate me if he knew and he wouldn’t want anything to do with me. I’m damaged goods, Cam. I don’t do relationships. He deserves so much better than what I have to offer him and honestly I don’t think I can handle being with him and worrying about him every day while he is overseas. I know that it’s selfish, but I don’t think I can take much more.”

  “Well, I have to agree with you, Em . . .”

  Oh thank God she’s going to have my back and support me on this.

  “ . . . You are being selfish and that just isn’t you. You are the kindest, most giving person I know and you finally meet a guy that cares about you and you are going to push him aside without even giving him a chance. The Emily Grace that I know wouldn’t do that. Tell him. Take a chance and tell him and he may just surprise you.”

  Feeling a bit pissy that she really doesn’t have my back and would push me to do something she knows goes against everything I am, I bite back, “I’m not telling him Cami and neither are you! I know the two of you like to text without me knowing, but I swear you’d better keep your mouth shut! And as soon as Monday comes and we are on our way home you will delete his information from your phone. It has to be a clean break.” I have never talked to Cami like this, but I don’t know how else to make my point clear. I am not telling him!

  There’s a knock on the door and a female voice on the other side says, “Hey, anybody in there?”

  “One sec.” Cami says. Her eyes never leaving mine. “Why are you doing this to yourself? I just don’t understand. Not every man is your dad or even Harrison for that matter, Em. Give him a chance to prove that to you.”

  Not answering her, I turn and look at my face in the mirror and say, “Shit, I can’t go back out there like this.”

  “You can ignore me all you want, chica, but I’m the one that is going to have to live with you after you say goodbye. Em, I don’t want you to have any regrets. We don’t do regrets, remember?”

  As she speaks, she takes care of me like she always does. She lifts the hair off my neck and presses a cool towel to it. She knows this calms me when I’m worked up.

  I find her reflection in the mirror.

  “Thank you.”

  “Em, you won’t be thanking me when I tell you I told you so down the line. When you’re surrounded by tubs of ice cream and bawling your eyes out. You know I want what’s best for you, right?”

  Splashing water on my face, I slur. “I know.”

  The tears have finally stopped and of course Cami has make-up to touch me up. I still look horrible but a little more presentable.

  “Come on, I’m sure that J is wondering where you are,” Cami says, using the guys nickname for Jonathan.

  Cami unlocks the door and I pause a moment before passing through.

  “Hey Cami? I hope you don’t mind, but if Jonathan is cool with it I think I want to take off and get out of here. I have a lot to process and I really don’t want to be in a loud bar right now.”

  “Of course, I understand. Don’t even sweat it. I’ll see you on Monday. Now go get your man. I actually need the facilities so go on without me.” She hugs me and says, “Love you, chica.”

  “Love you too, Cam.”

  As I enter the hallway, I see the person who must have been knocking on the door and tell her I am sorry for the wait. She says it was no problem and that from the looks of it I needed a moment. Great! I look so bad a stranger can tell there’s something wrong with me. I know she didn’t mean it that way but I still take the hint.

  As soon as his eyes land on me Jonathan heads my way.

  “Babe, you okay?”

  “I’m fine but would you mind terribly if we took off and went back to our place?”

  “Time alone with you? Hmmm . . . let me think about that . . .”

  Before I know what’s hit me, he scoops me up and over his shoulder like a caveman but at least he has the decency to hold my dress down. He swiftly turns us towards the door and as we pass our friends I lift my head up and say, “See you girls Monday. Matt and Devon it was so great to meet you guys. Please be safe over there and take care of this lug for me.”

  Jonathan stops walking and the guys come over to me. Devon stands on one side and Matt on the other and they both give me a kiss on the cheek as the blood rushes to my head from hanging over Jonathan’s shoulder.

  “Great to meet you, PDX. Hopefully our paths cross again back home. Be gentle with him.”

  “Nice to meet you too, Emily. Thanks for making our boy here so happy and we promise to take care of him.”

  “We’re out. Later everybody. Have fun tonight, but if you drink too much and need a ride call me. But please don’t drink too much because I really don’t want to come get your stupid asses!”

  We’re out the door in a matter of seconds. Because of the rock star parking we got, that means we are at Scarlett’s door as well.

  Jonathan slides me down his body and places me on my feet. I lift my hands to fix the mess that is now my hair, but he beats me to it. He smooths it down for me and tucks one side behind my ear.

  “What was goin’ on in there, sweetheart?”

  “I don’t want to talk, Jonathan. I just want it to be you and me and I don’t want to miss another second. I don’t want to talk about what happens after Monday though. I just can’t.”

  “Whatever you need, baby.”

  He kisses my forehead and opens the jeep door for me.

  We ride the short drive back to San Onofre in silence. When we arrive, he opens the jeep door for me but still doesn’t speak. He holds my hand as we walk towards our sweet little white cottage. He unlocks the door with other hand and continues to hold my hand as we walk through the door.

  Still silence.

  He leads the way down the hall, around the corner, through the kitchen and into the bedroom. He lets go of my hand to turn on the album we’ve been listening to all week that has fast become ours. He sets the phone that’s playing our music down on the bedside table and still doesn’t say anything.

  He walks back over to me and without saying a word motions for me to sit on the edge of the bed. After I follow his silent instructions and have a seat, he squats down and removes my wedges from my feet. On his way back up he takes my right hand and pulls me to standing again. He reaches for the hem of my dress and slowly lifts it over my head, leaving me in my bra and panties. He reaches around my back and unclasps my bra, and then uses both hands to take the straps off my shoulders and lets it fall to the ground. He bends down on his knees and kisses my stomach as he pulls what’s left of my clothes off of me.

  He lays me down on our bed and brushes the hair from my face and just stares into my eyes.

  He’s giving me what I asked for. He’s taking care of me and making me feel precious without any words getting in the way.

  We spend the rest of the night making love and saying very few words.

  Today is our last full day together. We decide not to go anywhere. For the most part, we’ve spent all day in bed talking about anything and everything except the dark cloud that is looming over us. We did go for a stroll on the beach early this morning, but other than that we haven’t left our little bubble.

  Right now we’re having a picnic in bed with what is left of our food from the week. We each have our jar of peanut butter and because we aren’t sharing we both eat right out of the jar with spoons. We also have cheese and crackers, sliced apples, salami and carrots, and in the back of my head I know that there is still ice cream and Juanita’s tortilla chips in the kitchen.

  The sun is starting to set and the light is starting to fade in the bedroom as we sit cross legged on the bed with all the food in between us.

  “I don’t think I can eat any more.” I say as I lay back and pat my stomach.

  “Let me get all this out of the way. I’ll be right back,” he says taking the remains of our picnic back to the kitchen.

  While he’s in the kitchen, I j
ump up and take this opportunity to brush my teeth and freshen up. I look at myself in the mirror in just my red tank, sans bra, and my black lace panties. I know that I feel different after my time with Jonathan. I feel confident; more secure in my own skin and I know it’s because of him. Looking at my body in the bathroom mirror I see a me that I have never seen before. A confident, sexy version of me. I see the one that Jonathan sees. I know this feeling won’t stick around but right now I feel happy and content, even with myself. Well, isn’t that a first?

  When I return back to the bedroom there’s candlelight, our music playing, and Jonathan is there waiting with a cat who ate the canary look on his face. He’s up to something. It looks like he’s holding something behind his back.

  “Come lay down, baby.”

  I crawl across the bed in my best sex kitten persona, but by the time I get to the pillows I just start cracking up and throw myself down on the bed. I am so not the type but when I look up at his face I can see that he feels different about my sex kitten status. The bulge in his boxers is enough to prove that he likes what he sees.

  “Not sure what you found so funny, darlin’, that was workin’ for me.”

  I just stick my tongue out at him as I lean back on my elbows and wonder what he’s up to since his hands are still behind his back.

  “Whatcha got there, Georgia?”

  “Well, I know you said you were full but I was kinda hoping for dessert.”

  It’s then that he pulls a bowl of chocolate ice cream and a spoon out from behind his back.

  “Chocolate? You didn’t get any for me?” I say with a pout.

  “Nope, this is all for me baby. Now why don’t you go ahead and take that off for me.”

  He takes a bite of his ice cream and waves his spoon up and down my body to indicate that I need to take what little clothes I have on off. A week ago this would have embarrassed the hell out of me. Made me feel insecure. But this man has brought out a confidence in me that I have never known. Surprisingly, I have no problem doing just as he asks. No problem at all.

  I sit up and grab the hem of my tank and slowly raise it over my head and throw it across the room.

  “Lay down, baby.”

  Again, I do just as instructed and lay down.

  “Don’t forget those, sweetheart.”

  Once more, I follow his instructions and shimmy out of my panties. I am now lying completely exposed and at his mercy. He puts one knee and then the other on the bed as he walks on his knees to my side.

  He dips into his bowl and comes out with a spoon full of partially melted ice cream. He drips the chocolate along my sternum, between my breasts and then down my stomach. The cool of it makes me gasp at first, but I am so hot from the serious look on his face and the anticipation of what’s to come that the shock of it doesn’t last more than that gasp.

  He sets the bowl down beside us and straddles me as he leans over and begins to ever so slowly lick and suck the trail of chocolate that he’s made. I can’t help the moans that escape me during his slow torture. As he circles the drizzle of chocolate around my belly button he feels me stiffen.

  “Don’t worry, baby. I won’t go near the dreaded belly button, even though I am dying to. I promise you though, I won’t go near it.” He assures me and I feel his warm breath when he drags his tongue around it.

  “Oh and don’t think I forgot these.” He says as he cups my breasts. “They’re next.”

  He sits back on his heels and grabs the bowl of nearly melted ice cream, scoops up another spoonful and then places a small dribble on each of my nipples. Oh. My. God. This is so freaking hot. This doesn’t even feel real. It feels like I’m in the hottest dream of my life and I’m just sure my alarm clock will be buzzing me awake at any moment.

  He gently sucks the chocolate off of each nipple and then raises his eyes to mine and says, “Delicious.”

  That one word gives me shivers and I feel goosebumps break out all over my body.

  He gently kisses each breast one last time. “Now the cherry on top. You know I like to save the best for last.”

  He crawls up my body and his lips meet mine in a passionate kiss. I can taste the chocolate ice cream on his tongue. I have to admit tasting it this way isn’t bad at all. If chocolate ice cream always came swirled with the taste of Jonathan, I think I could handle it.

  He’s off me way too soon and his warmth goes with him. With the bowl still in his hand he finds his way between my thighs and dips his spoon for another helping. This time he places the spoon at the top of my core and lets the melted ice cream slowly drip down my center. When he seems satisfied with his sweet concoction, he puts the bowl and spoon to the side and admires his work.

  His head lifts and his eyes meet mine—in that way that he does where it feels like he’s looking into my soul—and then, like the Cheshire Cat, a small smile slowly spreads across his face.

  “I better clean up my mess,” he says seductively.

  Then he slowly proceeds to lick his mess clean but pauses long enough to moan. “Fucking. Delicious.” He then does what he does best and brings me to that place that only he can. A place where the world disappears and I see stars as my mind blacks out and I forget to breathe.

  Coming back down from my high, I vaguely hear the sound of foil being ripped open. Then much to my pleasure, he’s on top of me and brings me to an altogether new kind of place. The kind of place that he and I seem to always reach together. We’re connected in a way I never knew could exist with another person and he makes me feel so good. He feels so good. There is no better feeling than when he’s inside me.

  This man will always be with me. Even when I have to leave him tomorrow he will always be a part of my mind, body and soul. I know I will feel him in my bones for the rest of my days. I have never so badly wished for an endless night.

  “I guess chocolate ice cream isn’t so bad.” I say as we lay on our backs holding hands and catching our breath.

  He lets go of my hand and rolls over to his side and props his head up on his hand.

  “Gracie, talk to me. Please.”

  “Jonathan, don’t.”

  “Give me a chance, baby. As long as it’s not another man that you’re going back to, I think we can work through anything.”

  I move myself in closer to him causing him to put his head down and roll back on to his back. I cling to him like I’m never going to let him go, but the truth is I know I have to.

  “Are you scared to leave on Tuesday?” I ask him quietly.

  “Scared of leaving you, yes. Scared I may never breathe again if I don’t know that you’re out there waiting for me, yes. Scared that you haven’t given me your last name or your phone number on purpose so that I can’t find you after tomorrow. Hell yes. I am scared shitless right now.”

  Shit, he noticed that I hadn’t given him my information. There is no getting anything over on this man.

  “That’s not what I meant. Are you scared to leave for Afghanistan?”

  “I know that’s not what you meant.”

  “Are you going to answer my question? I don’t know how you couldn’t be scared.”

  “Honestly, we’re well trained and damn good at what we do. I’m more worried about the men that are going to be by my side. I’m their squad leader and their lives are in my hands. I know much of what happens over there isn’t in our control, but I still take my role very seriously and vow to get each and every one of my Marines back home alive and well after this tour.”

  “I’m scared for you, Georgia. I can’t bear the thought of anything happening to you. I need to know you’re out there; that this love and goodness that I’ve found in you is always out there somewhere in the universe. You’ve done something to me that I can’t explain. You filled the piece of my soul that I never knew was empty, and I need to know you’re out there living and happy if I am going to keep breathing. I need you to stay safe over there. I need you in this world.”

  The tears slowly run
down my face and on to his chest after releasing the emotion that’s been bottled up inside me all day.

  “I love you, Gracie.”

  “I love you too, Georgia.”

  “Then why won’t you wait for me? What is so bad that you can’t be with me? Are you sick? Are you dying? What the hell is going on? If your life is a mess, let it be my mess too. You don’t have to do whatever this is alone. I know, you aren’t alone. You have Cami and your friends and family. But what about a partner? I would rather be in your mess of a life than not in your life at all!”

  Still tucked into his side, I exhale a deep breath. “I don’t want to be the person that throws a monkey wrench into your life. You need to stay focused on you and your boys while you’re away and you don’t need my problems to distract you. I come with a lot of baggage. Right now my baggage is a hot mess with no sign of improving on the horizon. You have enough to deal with just being over there in a war zone, fighting for your country.” I lift my head so that I can look him in the eyes while I say, “Listen, I know how selfish it is of me to tell you that I love you, but that I can’t be with you . . . but I do love you and don’t ever want you to think that I don’t want this. I never knew that I could feel this way or want to be in a relationship like I do when I am with you, but with my life a complete mess and you still having a year left in the Marine Corps, I just think our timing is all wrong. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.”

  “Do you believe in fate?”

  “I don’t really know. Part of me wants to say no, but I know there was a reason that I met you last Saturday.”

  “Well, I do and I know we’ll be together again one day. I don’t know how or when but I refuse to believe that fate would bring us together just to tear us apart. I know I’ll see you again, Gracie. I refuse to believe that this could be goodbye.”

  “Jonathan, please don’t do this. Let’s just spend the rest of the night like this and not think about it.”

  I throw my naked leg over him and try to push myself into him until we melt into one. I hate that I know that this is hurting him. I want to remind him that from the beginning I told him it would never be more than this week, but that would be cruel. Things between us are not what I thought they would be. But that isn’t really true because I knew the first time he touched me that this was different; that there was something extraordinary between us. I tried to tell myself all week that I could do this. Now that the end is upon us I’m not quite sure how I plan to walk away.