Bottle It Up: (A Between the Pines Novel) Read online

  My shower is done, and I’m fully dressed, but I’m not quite ready to join Max and his family, so I take a seat on the bed in what I guess is my room for the next few days, trying to get my mind off Max. If only I hadn’t made the mistake of looking at my phone and, unfortunately, social media to pass the time.

  A gentle knock on the door distracts me.

  “Emmett, you okay in there? Can I come in?” Max asks from the hallway.

  Wiping my face and dabbing my nose with the tissue I stole from the bathroom cupboard, I try to sound like myself. “Sure, come on in.”

  There’s no hiding my tearstained makeup and red-rimmed eyes or the worry on his face when the tears start falling again.

  “Hey, what happened? I mean, I know it’s a lot of pink, but the bathroom isn’t that scary, is it?”

  I appreciate that he’s trying to lighten the mood but even Max can’t get me to laugh right now.

  “No, it’s this.” I hold out my phone in shame. He’s going to see it anyway, why prolong the inevitable?

  He looks at the picture, and even though his tell-tale sign of anger shows in the ticking of his jaw, he says, “So what?”

  “Here I thought I was helping his career, and instead, he’s apparently settled for a fat, ordinary woman who isn’t worthy of him.”

  “Stop.”

  “I mean, I know I’m not a Hollywood beauty, and I know we seem like a strange match, but I didn’t think I could make things even worse for him.”

  “Stop.”

  “What was I thinking? My fat ass is everywhere. I’m a laughing stock.”

  “I don’t ever want to hear you talk about yourself like that ever again. Do you hear me?”

  I’ve never heard him sound so angry.

  “What?” I say, looking up at him quickly but then averting my eyes from his, embarrassed.

  He squats in front of me, not allowing me to hide my face from his.

  “Emmett, I don’t know how you can look at this picture and not see perfection.”

  He holds the phone up in front of me, making me look at the picture of me in my yoga pants, but I don’t see anything on the page because he just said he sees perfection, and he called me Emmett.

  “I love your ass.”

  “You love my ass?”

  “Emmett, your body is a masterpiece. Your curves are a thing of beauty, and that ass of yours… Listen, I know I’m crossing the line, but you’d have me fired if I told you what goes through my mind when I think about your ass.”

  “No, really, it’s okay. Please tell me.”

  He lightly chuckles. “If one of the other guys on my team behaved this way, they’d be fired.”

  “I don’t mind.”

  He reaches up, gently brushing his thumb over my cheek. “Emmett, I’ve said too much, and telling you more or taking this further would be inappropriate. The right thing to do is to remove myself from the job and let Smith take over, but that isn’t an option.”

  “Because he’s going home for the holiday?”

  He smiles up at me. “No, because there’s no way I could give up a single day spent with you.”

  “So, it’s not just me?”

  “It’s not just you.”

  Time stops. Our confessions linger in the air. Our eyes search for the answers to questions we don’t dare ask out loud.

  “Now, let’s get going. My brother and his family are on their way.” He stands to his full height, and I miss being eye to eye with him. So many questions running through my mind.

  “I’m meeting more family?”

  “I don’t come home often, so my mom gets a little excited. Thanksgiving is apparently too far away.”

  “It’s the day after tomorrow, isn’t it?”

  “It sure is. Consider today a practice run for the big day.” He winks, offering his hand, pulling me off the bed. “No more crying over bullshit that doesn’t matter, okay?”

  “I’ll do my best. I may have to throw my phone away to make it happen.”

  “Do what you need to do, girl. As long as I don’t find you like I just did ever again. It didn’t feel good. Now, you, with a smile on your face...nothing beats that.”

  “Max,” I breathe out his name, an emotion in and of itself.

  He lets go of my hand, walking backward toward the door. “I’m gonna give you a second to yourself. You’re gonna beg for the quiet once the kids get here.”

  “Max, wait.”

  He stops at the door.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you had a son?”

  “I didn’t not tell you. I actually tried to tell you at the bookstore, but the minute I mentioned I had a dog, you interrupted me, and then your friends came back, and the conversation ended.”

  “Sorry, I interrupted you.” I really am. I would have loved this new bit of information. “Does this mean you’re missing Thanksgiving with him?”

  “No. Nick is with his mom for the holiday this year. We talk every day though, and we’ll be sure to video chat with the whole family on Thursday.”

  “Nick. That’s his name?”

  “It is. He’s ten. He loves basketball and video games. He’s smart as hell, and nobody makes me laugh harder. His mother hates that I never married her when I got out of the military and makes things harder than they need to be. I only get him on Wednesdays and every other weekend or when she has plans. It sucks, but she’s had a new man in her life these past couple of years and therefore lots of plans. So, lately, I get him a lot more than my scheduled days. Still, I have an attorney, and I’m working on changing things. I’ll give you a few minutes. See you downstairs when you're ready. And remember, no more tears. You’re beautiful.”

  The door clicks closed, leaving me to sit with my thoughts. The past few minutes run circles around my head. Over and over. His love of my ass. The crossing of lines. Not wanting to spend time away from me. His love for his son and his conflict with his ex.

  He. Thinks. I’m. Beautiful.

  Standing face-to-face with my reflection staring back at me in the full-length mirror attached to the back of the bedroom door, I look at myself. Really look at myself.

  Face-to-face with my curves. My curves that trolls online use to call me fat, but those same curves were just called perfection by the person whose opinion means more than most these days.

  Turning from side to side, examining the body parts that just had me in tears, I try to see what he sees. I try to see my curves that before today I was comfortable living in. Curves, that it would appear work for Max. I’ve seen Josh go through this. I know better than to let them get to me, but it sure is easier to believe the negative.

  When my eyes finally make their way up to my face, there’s a sparkle in the brown eyes shining back at me, my cheeks are flushed, and it’s all because of the man who loves my ass and thinks my body is a masterpiece. Yes, I know he’s going a little overboard in an effort to make me feel better about myself, but it still feels good. The most important thing, though, the part that feels even better than his sweet compliments was his confirmation that it wasn’t just me.

  What I’m feeling isn’t one-sided.

  The butterflies in my stomach are untying the knots of anxiety that had taken up residence only moments ago and staking their claim.

  Gleefully bouncing down the stairs with a smile plastered on my face, I hear Linda singing in the kitchen, and before I’ve stepped off the last step, a wave of trepidation washes over me. Our moment upstairs was behind closed doors. To the rest of the world, I’m his client. An even bigger roadblock than our business relationship is the assumption by the world that I’m engaged to Josh.

  The diamond on my left hand suddenly feels like a weight pulling me under, preventing me from breaking the surface. But here I am walking into the kitchen with a smile on my face while inside I’m treading water as if my life depended on it.

  “Oh, Emmett, perfect timing. Alex and the kids just pulled up!” Linda squeals.

  She si
gnals me to follow her to the family room where I hear our visitors before I see them.

  “Uncle Max!”

  “Ivy! Look how big you are! You’re beautiful, just like your mommy.” Max swings around, arms around an adorable little girl whose legs and braids fly through the air while her arms squeeze his neck.

  “Hey, Max, it’s been way too long.”

  He shifts Ivy onto one hip and hugs a petite strawberry blond woman, but before they get to exchange any pleasantries, they’re interrupted.

  “Maxipad!” Max places Ivy on her feet, and her mom grabs her by the hand just in time. “Big Bro! It’s about damn time you came home!”

  The equally tall and dark-haired man who must be Alex throws himself against Max, hugging him so tightly you can see both men’s knuckles pale as they grip each other's shoulders. This is a real hug, full of love and emotion.

  “Hey, man, how you doin’?” Max replies, barely audible for anyone other than Alex to hear.

  I begin to back into the kitchen to give the family some privacy when I’m poked in the belly. “Who are you?”

  The room falls silent. All eyes on me.

  “Hi, I’m Emmett. Who are you?”

  “My name is Brian. It means I’m noble. What does your name mean?”

  “Hi, Brian. It’s nice to meet you.” I shake his tiny hand. “My name means my dad wanted a boy, but he got me instead.”

  “Huh?”

  “Sorry, he’s five and full of questions. I’m Malory, Alex’s wife. You must be here with Max?” the pretty blond asks, holding a baby in her arms.

  I don’t know what to say, but luckily for me, Max takes control of the conversation.

  “Brian, doesn’t your uncle Max get a hug?”

  The adorable little guy slowly walks over to his uncle, who squats down to his level.

  “When did you get so big? What are you like, fifteen now?”

  “No, I’m only five.”

  “Only five? Wow, you had me fooled.”

  Brian touches the faint circular scar on Max’s cheek.

  “You don’t remember me do you, buddy?”

  He shakes his head back and forth.

  “I’m your uncle Max. I haven’t seen you since you were two, I think. I’m sorry about that.” He rubs his head, and the look he gives his brother expresses his regret.

  “I know,” Alex replies.

  My tears are back for a completely different reason this time. Max hasn’t been home in three years. Three years. Of all the places we could have gone to get away from the crazy person stalking me in Eastlyn, why did he choose to come home?

  Clearing his throat, Max speaks to the room. “Alex, Malory, Ivy, Brian, and baby Brody, this is Emmett. Emmett, this is my brother, Alex, his patient wife, Malory, and their three beautiful kids.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Emmett. We’re kind of a lot, I know.” Malory laughs.

  “Not at all. It’s nice to meet you too.”

  “Ivy. Brian. You two let your old gramps know when you’re ready to lose at Uno. You know where to find me.” Donny walks out of the room, and the kids follow him like he’s the Pied Piper.

  “Everyone, booth,” Linda orders. “I have pies to make, and I need you to eat everything in the fridge so I can make room for Thanksgiving.”

  I’m just about to ask what she means when Malory and Alex scoot into the u-shaped table in the kitchen, and I see it now. It’s actually just like a big booth in a restaurant. Perfect for a big family to gather around.

  I slide in next to Max, feeling unsure of myself. He introduced me by name but didn’t mention who I was to him. It’s also the first time I’ve been in his space since our last conversation. He’s like a magnet my body automatically attracts to, and when I realize I’m close enough for our arms to graze, I pull myself away from him—sitting on my hands to ensure no accidental touching.

  “So, Emmett, Max tells me you do something with corporate travel?” Linda startles me out of my thoughts about magnets.

  He told his mom about me?

  “Um, yes. I manage the team who arranges all the travel for my company.”

  “Who do you work for?” Malory asks.

  “HD Communications.”

  “Oh, wow, so we’re talking a lot of international travel,” Alex adds.

  “Yes, we have business all over the world, and my team plans it all.”

  “That sounds incredible. So, you must travel a lot for work then?” Linda says, placing a half-eaten casserole dish of lasagna on the table along with a tossed salad before walking back to the fridge to keep making space.

  “You’d think so, but sadly no, I’ve never left the States, except for a couple of trips to Cabo with friends.”

  She puts a big salad and a stack of plates and silverware in front of us, and she looks at me bewildered. “Well, that’s nonsense. You’d think if you were in charge of planning it all, you’d get to travel to see the places you're sending everyone else off to.”

  “Nope. I attend a lot of meetings in Denver, Seattle, and Philadelphia, but that’s about it. I’m lucky enough to work from home, though, so no complaints there.”

  “I would say I wish I could work from home, but that would be a lie. I work construction, and it’s quieter on the job site than it is at home with three kids and two dogs.”

  “Alex is being modest; he owns the company.” Max brags on his brother.

  “Doesn’t mean I don’t still work hard.”

  “Never said you didn’t,” Max says, tossing a cherry tomato from the salad at his baby brother.

  “I can’t believe there are no fireflies this time of year. Can you believe I’ve never seen a firefly?” I say on a yawn.

  We’ve had a full day of family, food, and fun, and I can barely keep my eyes open.

  Max and I took a walk after his brother and his family left for the night. His parents own several acres of land and even built a pool out back. It’s the wrong time of year for a swim, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still lay poolside, bundled up, each with our own blanket and lawn chair.

  “I guess we’ll have to come back in early summer when you’ll be guaranteed to fill a jar full of them.”

  “Yeah? That would be amazing.”

  It really does sound great, and it warms my heart to hear him talk about me returning to Phillipsburg with him. If only the scent of pine trees combined with the crisp night air, hinting that snow may be on the way, along with the three glasses of wine since dinner didn’t find my eyelids growing heavy, closing on their own. I have no say in the matter.

  “Hey, Emmett?”

  “Aw, you called me Emmett.”

  Pulling my blanket tighter, I roll to my side to look at him, but my eyes don’t open as I had planned.

  “Emmett?”

  “Max?”

  “If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?”

  “Hmm...Paris. I’ve always dreamed of going to Paris. Do you think they have fireflies in Paris?”

  I hear him say something, but it sounds like he’s whispering with my blanket covering my ears. “Sorry, what was that?”

  “Don’t worry about it.” He’s close enough that the warmth of his breath brushes across my cheek. His hands slide under me, picking me up. “Come on, Firefly, let’s get you to bed.”

  Chapter 13

  The distant roar of an engine wakes me from my dreams of fireflies, the Eiffel Tower, and Max. Looking over the side of the bed, I’m not surprised to find the air mattress on the floor is empty and made.

  As I burrow under the blankets, my cheeks strain with the size of my smile.

  “Come on, Firefly, let’s get you to bed.”

  I keep hearing his words on a loop in my head.

  I was in that place between being awake and asleep last night when Max’s hands first touched me. The moment they did, I couldn’t have been more cognizant. Afraid he would put me down if he realized I wasn’t sleeping, I pretended I was. An
d I’d do it again if given the opportunity to be close enough to snuggle against his neck again. To feel his breath on my face. To smell the fresh, fruity scent of his that has a hint of cinnamon and is all him.

  I almost pretended to wake up when he was struggling with the back door, but it was too entertaining listening to him curse under his breath. In the end, he managed just fine. Of course, I don’t think there’s much he’s not capable of.

  He sweetly laid me down, removed my shoes, and pulled the blankets over me. He didn’t walk away, though. I could feel his stare as he stood watching me while I couldn’t if he couldn’t see the beating of my heart through my chest or, at the very least, hear the pounding of it. How could he not when it filled the room, the only thing I could hear?

  Thinking back to last night reminds me that I'm still in my clothes from yesterday, and I should probably get out of bed and ready for the day. I’d rather stay wrapped up in my cocoon of covers all day, reliving last night. Unfortunately, I’m a guest, and it wouldn’t be polite to stay in my room all day.

  Throwing back the covers, I meander across the room to the window, pulling back the dark blue curtain. Through the low hanging fog, I spot Donny bundled up in a thick flannel, his beanie held on tight with the giant ear protection he’s wearing to dull the sound that woke me. His warm breath on the frosty air leaves a trail behind him as he rides his mower over the acreage of his beautiful land.

  Yesterday, when I finally saw Phillipsburg in the daylight, I was pleasantly surprised to see how much this part of New Jersey resembles certain parts of Oregon. I’ve watched too many episodes of Jersey Shore and had forgotten this is the Garden State after all.

  The tall trees rising out of the earth doing their best to reach the sky on the edge of the property remind me of The Jumps back home. Listening to Max talk about his childhood here was reminiscent of my time growing up in Eastlyn and the property we spent our days and nights on.

  The Jumps is a big, beautiful field of green covered in tiny purple flowers where countless bonfires took place. A peaceful field lined with a forest of pine trees that we rode our bikes. We used tree roots, fallen logs, and raised trails as our bike jumps and obstacles. Mother Nature provided much of our happiness back home, and it appears she did the same for Max and his friends out here on the other side of the country.